Apr 242013
Guess what chicken butt?

Guess what chicken butt?

In the adult world, we are expected to act with a certain amount of decorum.

You don’t make fun of people on the playground. Instead, you are encouraged to see that these are eccentric office mates who’ve just had a tough life and only need our compassion.

You don’t pull little Susie’s hair and then run away, all because you like her a lot and can’t admit it. Instead, it’s casual conversation in the lunchroom – with someone from a different department – leading up to a coffee date.

And you don’t have belching contests in the hallway after gulping two cans of Pepsi. Instead, it’s all about vitamin water and hallway discussions on the merits of healthy beverages.

Next time the office whiner interrupts your day with her 29th account of why she thinks the company is screwing her over because they won’t allow her to burn candles in her office, just say “I know you are, but what am I.”  Say it several times in a row.  See what happens.

When the office know-it-all starts telling you yet again that you aren’t doing your job right and offers numerous helpful hints on ways to improve, sing the alphabet.  Mess up on J and start over.  Then try to sing it backwards.  See what happens.

If the resident doom-and-gloom office colleague stops by to rattle off the latest reason why their life sucks and your life sucks and the world sucks, show them the huge scab on your shin.  Concentrate on it.  Pick at it.  Become engrossed in it.  See what happens.

When the boss calls you in to discuss your progress on the Stevens account, watch for key phrases. If he says “what’s the deal”, you say “banana peel”.  If he says “what’s up”,  you say “buttercup”.  Guess what; chicken butt.  I’m the boss; apple sauce.

See what happens.